


you are a S(i)MP || dream smp chatfic

by QuintupleSmile



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29651796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuintupleSmile/pseuds/QuintupleSmile
Summary: jared, 19:im jaredLbig L to you guysyou met jaredas tommyinnit would say, LOL!speedrun:im beginning to see why this is a bad idearanboozled:nonothis is fine________________________________________________basically just a chatfic because they're all chaotic but theres actually everyone there
Comments: 5
Kudos: 161





	1. dream you suck

**Author's Note:**

> FIRST CHAPTER POG??
> 
> basically just introducing half the characters and them being absolute dumbasses,,,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dream makes a dire mistake. group chats are bad. especially ones with 33 people 
> 
> he also gets roasted a lot that's fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOO FIRST FANFIC FIRST CHAPTER LETS GOO

Dream has added 32 people to the chat "you are a S(i)MP" 

Dream has changed 32 people's nicknames

Dream has changed their nickname to "speedrun" 

speedrun:  
suffer, my friends. 

pandas:  
what

grog:  
why

speedrun:  
it should be pretty obvious what this is

pandas:  
dream you suck

blood god:  
AGREEEEEEED  
dream you suck at group chat nicknames  
i lowkey feel bad for everyone here

speedrun:  
you suck techno

child:  
not as much as you  
DREMA YOU FUCKSIGN BTICH  
CBABGE MY NAEM RIGHNT NOW

speedrun:  
if you can spell

child:  
GEY ABSOLUTWLY OTUDPAYED DREMA  
TEHCNO TODLCME HOW TO DO IT

speedrun:  
google translate where are you when i need you 

bee kid:  
he said techno told him how to do it

speedrun:  
Oh Dear

child has changed their nickname to "big man" 

big man:  
ABSOLTEUTLY OUTPLAYED

enderman:  
so close  
oh god why am i called enderman

speedrun:  
because you're an enderman

enderman:  
.  
techno i agree dream sucks at nicknames

blood god:  
YEEEEAH RANBOO

enderman changed their nickname to "ranboozled"

blood god changed their nickname to "anarchy pog"

speedrun:  
yall suck

bee kid changed their nickname to "tubbee"

tubbee:  
why did tommy tell me to change my name?

big man:  
TUBBO WHSYD YOU TRLEL THEM

speedrun:  
TOMMY YOU SUCK

ranboozled:  
tommy didn't tell me to change my name  
your nickname skills just suck

anarchy pog:  
AGREEEEEED  
ranboo you have so much brain

ranboozled:  
thank you technoblade  
guys he complimented me

tubbee:  
congratulations big man

big man:  
IM BIG MAN

tubbee:  
ranboo is also big man

big man:  
HWY

ranboozled:  
knowing tubbo  
probably because im taller than you

big man:  
ranboob you fucker  
SUCK DICK ASHSOLE

tubbee:  
ashsole

ranboozled:  
ashsole

speedrun:  
ashsole

grog:  
ashsole

big man:  
SOTP YOU GUYS SUCK

pandas:  
ashsole

anarchy pog:  
ashsole

furry:  
ashsole  
OKAY THEN DREAM  
FUCK YOU.

speedrun:  
PAHEHAHADHAHAH  
WORTH IT  
WORTH IT  
WORTH IT

big man:  
AMEN  
AMEN  
AMEN

furry changed their nickname to "fox go brr" 

speedrun:  
yall said i suck at nicknames

fox go brr:  
shut the fuck up

untalk:  
oh god  
i just got so many notifications 

anarchy pog:  
i take it back  
thats the only good nickname

tubbee:  
wait who is that

untalk:  
LMAO DREAM PLS  
ITS CALLAHAN 

tubbee:  
DREAM WHYD YOU DO CALLAHAN LIKE THAT

untalk:  
NONO ITS FUNNY PLEASE

pandas:  
poor callahan  
dream you have no more rights

grog:  
dream we're cancelling you on twitter right now

untalk:  
GUYS????  
ITS FUNNY GUYS

big daddy:  
I can't believe you'd call Callahan that Dream D:  
oh my goodness

ranboozled:  
SOTPPBJSHEHWHAHAAHAH

speedrun:  
I CANT BREKAHTE

putamadre:  
DREAM MY FRIEND  
I RAISED YOU WELL I SEE  
oh my god  
DREAM  
DREAM  
DREMA

tubbee:  
THIS IS LITRALLY JUST GETTING BETTER

ranboozled:  
IM GOING LIGHTHEADED

dadza:  
oh my god  
what have you started dream

putamadre changed their nickname to "swagest mf"

pandas:  
hate to break it to you big q  
but its swaggest

swagest mf:  
SHUT YOUR FUCK

swagest mf changed their nickname to "swaggest mf"

pandas:  
alex :'(  
im gon a cry alex

swaggest mf:  
wait no

pandas:  
im cryign right now  
i cant believe this

swaggest mf:  
sapnap no wait  
sAONAP

pandas:  
the disrespect  
i cant believe youd do this

speedrun:  
hes actually crying i

swaggest mf:  
WAIT NO REALLY  
SAPNAP DONT CRY  
UR SO SEXY

speedrun:  
no but i said that because i knew you would say that

swaggest mf:  
okay good  
ur too sexy to cry

pandas:  
not as sexy as u

swaggest mf:  
*kisses u*

pandas:  
*kisses u back*

anarchy pog:  
yeah no this is Cringe

ranboozled:  
why are you like this

big man:  
i am a Minor

tubbee:  
take it to dms

swaggest mf:  
YALL CALLING US CRINGE  
WE WILL  
WE WILL TAKE IT TO DMS  
ASSHOLES

honkers:  
without me? :[

pandas:  
wait no im sorry karl  
karl you can come with us

swaggest mf:  
theres always room for more

dadza:  
there are Children here mate

ranboozled:  
please Do Not do that here

swaggest mf:  
FINE WE'LL GO TO OUR DMS  
FUCK YOU  
JUST JEALOUS SMH

jared, 19:  
fucking hell stop being gay on main  
oh  
im jared  
nice

tubbee:  
AND HE NEVER LEARNED HOW TO FUCKING READ

big man:  
AMEN TUBBO AMEN

untalk:  
no wait is it jared from his song  
cause like  
yeah ive met jared

big man:  
OF COURSE IVE MET JARED

tubbee:  
OF COURSE IVE MET JARED 

fox go brr:  
OF COURSE IVE MET JARED

honkers:  
OF COURSE IVE MET JARED

swaggest mf:  
OF COURSE IVE MET JARED

pandas:  
OF COURSE IVE MET JARED

jared, 19:  
im jared  
L  
big L to you guys  
you met jared  
as tommyinnit would say, LOL! 

speedrun:  
im beginning to see why this is a bad idea

ranboozled:  
nono  
this is fine

tubbee:  
hey ranboo  
i can make it  
not  
fine  
for you

ranboozled:  
you could have made that all one sentence  
but uhhhh  
bet

tubbee:  
ranboo my beloved

ranboozled:  
oh god hes about to say something dumb  
yyyes tubbo

tubbee:  
i have a friend you see

ranboozled:  
go on,,, 

tubbee:  
let me just mmmmm  
@/anarchy pog

anarchy pog:  
dont fucking tag me  
shut up  
what do you want

ranboozled:  
oh god  
oh no  
tubbo

tubbee:  
tell my friend ranboo here about orphans

ranboozled:  
NO  
TUBBO

anarchy pog:  
SERIOUSLY  
I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK

ranboozled:  
PELSSE  
TUBBO I KNOW ENIUHG  
TUBBO WHY

tubbee:  
byeeeeee ranbooooooooo  
im gonna edit my new videoooooo

ranboozled:  
TUBBOOOO

anarchy pog:  
okay is he gone  
tubbo are you gone

ranboozled:  
technoblade please  
spare me my good sir

anarchy pog:  
yeah hes gone  
dont worry i could never be bothered to tell you all about that  
thats boring  
i have more important matters to attend to  
like block game

ranboozled:  
amen  
but THANK YOU

jared, 19:  
techno do it  
i dare you  
bet you won't

anarchy pog:  
you're right  
i won't

jared, 19:  
nice  
have a good day

anarchy pog:  
probably won't  
im in a group chat called "you are a simp"

speedrun:  
S(i)MP actually

anarchy pog:  
i dont care for parenthesis  
they have no purpose  
just round  
and caps are overrated

jared, 19:  
retweet  
favourite  
bookmark

anarchy pog:  
ew  
f a v o u r i t e

jared, 19:  
what

anarchy pog:  
you're so british

jared, 19:  
yeah and? i love my british pals

tubbee:  
BRITISH PEOPLE ARENT SO BAD :(

big man:  
wagwan man lookin for a piff ting innit fam

anarchy pog:  
what the actual fuck

grind never stops:  
Oi mate  
Ya fuckin cracked innit  
Ya aint gonna find any peng tings ere aight its fuckin nottinham  
Are you off yer rocker

anarchy pog:  
i think i am being cursed???? help???? what is???? going on???????? 

tubbee:  
they do this quite a lot actually  
making fun of roadmen

anarchy pog:  
WHAT IS A ROADMAN  
HELLO????????

tubbee:  
i cant think of an american equivalent  
uhhh

grog:  
its basically like a chad  
but worse

anarchy pog:  
OH NO  
WORSE THAN A CHAD

big man:  
georgenotfound??  
online???

tubbee:  
its the start of a new era

grog:  
what

anarchy pog:  
OH ITS GEORGE  
i didnt even process the fact i was talking to george

grog:  
IVE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME??

ranboozled:  
hi george  
hope you're enjoying your day without hibernation

grog:  
ouch  
wait thats ranboo  
ranboo when did you grow balls

ranboozled:  
wbat

anarchy pog:  
ranboo i am adopting you /srs

ranboozled:  
s  
srs  
oh god  
why though

anarchy pog:  
what you just said  
life changing  
truly inspiring

grind never stops:  
Have to agree there  
Ranboo you are learning from the best and I am glad

ranboozled:  
????  
dude i just  
what

literally a color:  
WHAT IS THIS  
WHY AM I HERE  
WHAT IS MY NAME  
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS???

big man:  
oh god  
am i in the presence of  
PRUEPLD BEDWRAS????

literally a color:  
if you spelt it correctly then yeah

big man:  
nevermind. I dont want to be in your presence anymore  
i am too Big of a man

literally a color:  
you're literally younger than me

ranboozled:  
hello purpled bedwars  
this is my formal request to play one (1) round of Hypixel Bedwars with you.  
pros: i am ranboo. i have clout  
cons: i am ranboo. and game hard

literally a color:  
im  
RANBOO?????

ranboozled:  
yes purpled bedwars

literally a color:  
YOU CAN JUST???  
DM ME AND ASK

ranboozled:  
wait so are you able to play now

literally a color:  
i mean  
if you want

ranboozled:  
logging on as we speak

literally a color:  
OH  
RIGHT  
OKAY  
well

speedrun:  
hiiiiiiii purpled

literally a color:  
dream you made the names right

speedrun:  
indeed i Did

literally a color:  
you do realise your brand is literally green and a smiley face right  
you could be called  
literally smiley face  
or some shit

speedrun:  
but i am not

literally a color:  
you could be

speedrun:  
but i am not

literally a color changed their nickname to "bedwars god"

bedwars god:  
yeah  
how you feel about that one  
d r e a m

speedrun changed bedwars god's nickname to "hypixel sweat"

speedrun:  
you were saying

hypixel sweat:  
well  
alright then  
im leaving now  
and not only because ranboo wants to play bedwars

speedrun:  
get owned  
L

hypixel sweat:  
you are a Bitch dream 👍

big man:  
i made dream say that once  
on a voice recording

speedrun:  
no  
we pretend it doesn't exist  
plesae

big man:  
In this video, we coded it so that I am in love with GeorgeNotFound. I love GeorgeNotFound and girls. I hate mxmtoon. My name is Dream and I am a Bitch. I love women and also Girls. Gamer girls. Pogchamp! I hate everything

speedrun:  
TOMMY  
NO

pandas:  
interrupting our homie makeout session with ur screaming 🙄

swaggest mf:  
SHUT THE FUCK UP DREAM  
WE'RE KISSING THE HOMIES HERE

honkers:  
guys please (as alex quackity once wisely said) 

pandas:  
amen

big man:  
amen 

tubbee:  
amen

grind never stops:  
amen

jared, 19:  
amen

anarchy pog:  
amen

untalk:  
amen

grog:  
amen

speedrun:  
amen  
sorry guys  
get back to what you were doing

swaggest mf:  
thank you dream  
for the ounce of Respect  
much appreciated 👍👍

honkers:  
us homies gotta stick together yknow  
gotta kiss eachother goodnight

speedrun:  
its. its 2pm????

pandas:  
somewhere in the world it is night

jared, 19:  
can we please just talk about how Embarrassing it is for GeorgeNotFound because even CALLAHAN got to saying amen before he did

grog:  
WILBUR STOP BULLYING ME  
I WAS MAKING TIKTOKS

big man:  
GeorgeNotFound your tiktoks suck  
unless they are at the vegan teacher and are mean  
i am the real TikTokker here

grog:  
tommy you're a child  
i am better because i am older

big man:  
i have Clout  
from the vegan teacher  
you wish you did

grog:  
i have clout from posting good content myself

big man:  
tubbo  
where are you  
tubbo???  
TUBIBO????

grog:  
tubibo

big man:  
SHTU THEBFUCK UP GOEKGENOTOFUND

grind never stops:  
Hello Tommyinnit  
I am not tubbo  
However I am here instead

big man:  
yeah you'll do fine  
can you do something with me

grind never stops:  
Yeah sure  
What?

big man:  
idk  
sometying that means  
i can get away from this 24 year old colourblind Gogy

grind never stops:  
Uhhhhhhhhh  
@/dadza @/jared,19 @/slimey boi  
Record mod video?

dadza:  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
hello

big man:  
mr minecraft  
in the nicest way possible  
are you okay

dadza:  
MESSAGE SCARED ME  
I WAS IN MY HARDCORE WORLD

grind never stops:  
Well guys I have done it  
I have successfully frightened Philza Minecraft creator of Minecraft

jared, 19:  
philza minecraft hes so brave

dadza:  
wilbur stop

slimey boi:  
hes the bravest man i ever met

dadza:  
please

big man:  
I'll save you Philza Miwncraft  
guys  
let's go record a video  
on uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
black hole mod  
[link to black hole mod]

grind never stops:  
Oh god  
This is going to go so bad

jared, 19:  
charlie slimecicle  
would you do me, wilbur soot, the honour  
of creating yet another cult in this video?

slimey boi:  
i thought you would never ask  
THE HOLE

jared, 19:  
THE HOLE

grind never stops:  
Should I be regretting my decision of asking that now or later

big man:  
maybe now  
but we are doing a video whether you like it or not mister manifold

grog:  
all this  
just because you can't handle the tikky truth

big man:  
never say that to me again

grog:  
what?  
tikky truth?

big man:  
yes.  
do not say that here  
ever  
or i will punch you

grog:  
tikky truth

big man:  
george you know i am 6 foot 3.  
I am taller than you

dadza:  
OOOKAY  
THOMAS MY CHILD  
TOO MUCH HATE CRIME FOR ONE DAY  
SAVE SOME FOR TOMORROW

big man:  
i

jared, 19:  
you just got Told, tommy

slimey boi:  
not committing crime is FOR THE WEAK  
ILLEGAL CULT TIME

jared, 19:  
AMEN  
wait its a cult  
NEMA

anarchy pog:  
im losing braincells just from lurking  
why are you guys so dumb

big man:  
twchnoblade i have mire followres than ylu.

anarchy pog:  
i make my videos different every time and also have more videos than you

big man:  
techno you just make orphan jokes all the time. seriously come up with something better

anarchy pog:  
at least my only personality trait isnt block game

big man:  
congratulations technoblvade

jared, 19:  
LMAO BYE

grind never stops:  
Technoblade...............  
Technoblade moment™........ 

anarchy pog:  
wait  
wait i take it back

speedrun:  
TECHNO YOU'VE LITERALLY PLAYED THAT GAME NONSTOP FOR LIKE 6 YEARS

anarchy pog:  
DREAM STOP LURKING AND THEN MESSAGING AT RANDOM TIMES

speedrun:  
YOURE LITERALLY DOING THE SAME

anarchy pog:  
i am Leaving

speedrun:  
to play hypixel skywars?

anarchy pog:  
SBUT THE FUCK UP

big man:  
tehcoblade soelinh error

anarchy pog:  
soelinh

big man:  
i dont count  
i am 16 and a Big Man

anarchy pog:  
okay grandma  
im leaving now  
farewell dumbasses and co

jared, 19:  
well  
we can go record that video now cant we

big man:  
have you all got the mod installed and ready?

slimey boi:  
p e r h a p s

jared, 19:  
i wouldn't have said that if i didn't tommy

dadza:  
yeeeees

grind never stops:  
I may or may not have already had it preinstalled because of the day I was testing out different mods

big man:  
PogChamp  
okay  
lets go  
on the server  
farewell old gogmeister

grog:  
im going to order mcdonalds  
badbye tomathy  
not goodbye  
you were mean  
thats not gokd

big man:  
Gogy you suck  
Shut the hell up

grog:  
oooookay  
bye guys

big man:  
video time

dadza:  
lets GOOOOO

big daddy:  
Wait  
Guys?  
Can you guys help me first?

swaggest mf:  
hello BadBoyHalo

big daddy:  
Hi Quackity owo  
Language for your name >:(

swaggest mf:  
i dont give a shit  
anyway what do you want me to help with

big daddy:  
I've been trying to figure it out for a while but I can't seem to find out how to  
How do you change your nickname on here?  
Hello?  
Quackity?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEEEEEAH
> 
> pls leave feedback because this is my first fanfic and i wanna know if i got all the people acting as in character as possible,, 
> 
> also! this is set in real life, not in the game, so there probably won't be any relationships lol (especially not with the minors)
> 
> my username on wattpad is ranbooslastbraincell, this is also posted there and i usually update there first so :]


	2. no i dont think i will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quackity begins a war. /hj
> 
> poor ranboo has an essay to do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhi again

creeper aw man:  
oh dear gobd  
what have i missed

anarchy pog:  
nono  
sam  
escape while you can

creeper aw man:  
wh

big man:  
SMA!!!  
MY MAN!!!  
HOW AR EYUO ON THIS FJNE DYA?!

creeper aw man:  
i  
i dont know anyones names  
and i have no clue what this is  
but  
hello tommy

big man:  
sam awesamdude always knwos who i am. You are all jealosu

creeper aw man:   
tommy its not that hard

big man:  
sam both our names have man in it. We are mathcign. How do you feel

creeper aw man:  
OH  
I HAVE A NAME  
oh my god   
who made my name  
thats so unoriginal 

big man:  
blob man  
he sucks. He called me child. I am a big man

creeper aw man:  
ah  
should have guessed

roadman:  
SAMMYYYYYYYY  
HI SAMM

creeper aw man:  
I DONT KNOW WHO ANYONE IS  
BUT HELLO

roadman:  
ITS PONKY!!!!!!

creeper aw man:  
PONKY!!!!!!!!!!!!

roadman:  
SAMMY!!!!!!!!!!

creeper aw man:  
P O N K Y !!!!!!

roadman:  
S A M M Y !!!!!!!

honkers:  
karl :]

swaggest mf:  
HELLO KARLOS

honkers:  
HI ALEX

creeper aw man:  
OH PEOPLE ARE ONLINE I KNOW WHO YOU GUYS ARE NOW

big daddy:  
QUACKITY  
PLEASE HELP ME CHANGE MY NAME  
PLEASE

creeper aw man:  
IS THAT BAD  
i shall  
simply   
☁️e v a p o r a t e☁️

big man:  
What? 

creeper aw man:  
i was never here, tommy. 

roadman:  
SAM NO  
SAM COME BACK  
☁️evaporating aswell☁️

big man:  
what the fuck

swaggest mf:  
sorry karl we got very rudely interrupted there

big daddy:  
Q U A C K I T Y

honkers:  
i dont hear anything?

big daddy:  
THIS IS A MESSAGE  
KARL  
QUACKITY  
HELLO??

anarchy pog:  
post the picture. pay the price

honkers:  
AMEN TO THAT

swaggest mf:  
ANY TRUERS IN CHAT ???

creeper aw man:  
TRUEEEEEE

roadman:  
T R U U U E

big man:  
TURE!!!!

anarchy pog:  
tommy please  
its 4 letters  
and you messed it up

big man:  
THEHCNOBLAKDE DHUT UP

anarchy pog:  
please go back to sleep

speedrun:  
YOU GUYS  
WOKE ME UP  
SHUSH

anarchy pog:  
dream its a normal time to wake up  
be normal for once

speedrun:  
techoblade please

anarchy pog:  
techoblade

speedrun:  
stop

480p speedrun:  
lol i join and technoblade is annihilating dream for his typing skills  
okay  
fuck you  
I AM NOT 480P SPEEDRUN  
i already give up with this chat  
im going to leave and press a cool button called Go Live

speedrun:  
i am speedrun  
you are not  
False Prophet  
go live with your crusty ass skills  
bitch

big daddy changed their name to "badboyhalo"

badboyhalo:  
I figured it out :D  
ALSO DREAM LANGUAGE

speedrun changed badboyhalo's nickname to "big daddy"

speedrun:  
not so fast

big daddy:  
>:(  
You're mean >:(

swaggest mf:  
BAD YOU WERE THE ONE WHO POSTED YOU WERE RATS BIG DADDY

big daddy:  
Well I am her daddy and she's my child :(

speedrun:  
bad please

ranboozled:  
THIS IS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED TO SEE WHEN I FIRSTNOPEEND THE CHAT TODAY  
I AM SOBIBNG  
YOU AR E HRUTING MY THROAT  
HRUAHDHAJAJA

swaggest mf:  
BAD YOU KILLED A CHILD  
BAD  
YOU MADE RANBOO DIE  
BAD OH MY GOD

big daddy:  
Ranboo are you okay D:

ranboozled:  
I CNAT BRWAHTHE  
THEBCHAT IS SO FUNYN

big daddy:  
:o?

swaggest mf:  
you said you were rat's daddy again

big daddy:  
I am rat's daddy?  
oh.  
OH  
QUACKITY  
LANGUAGE  
QUAKCITY!!!

swaggest mf:  
HAHASHAHAHAHA  
you cant get me with my homie army  
homies  
assemble  
@/pandas @/honkers

pandas:  
WHYD YOU TAG MEEEEEEE  
I JUST LOST THE GAAAAAME  
WE WERE WINNINNNNNGGGGG  
alex i am going to punt you

honkers:  
i hear homies  
i Arrive  
also we aren't punting alex 

swaggest mf:  
BADBOYHALO  
the fight is on  
SAPNAP  
KARL  
you shall not be punting me.   
you shall be punting none other than  
BIG DADDY!!! 

pandas:  
BIG DADDY YOU'RE GOING DOWN

honkers:  
i have trained for this moment...   
i shall do well...... 

big daddy:  
Who said we were figting?  
*fighting

pandas:  
me  
you cant spell  
lol  
couldt be me

anarchy pog:  
hello english major here  
before you ask yes i'm lurking  
anywho  
pretty sure couldn't is spelt with an n and an apostrophe

pandas:  
TECHNO SHUSH WE ARE FIGHTING  
WAR TIME TECHBO

anarchy pog:  
ah I see  
if you're actually going to do it and not just trashtalk  
continue

big daddy:  
Oh well  
If this is war I need to call in my backup!! >:)  
@/bbh simp @/catboy

swaggest mf:  
HOWD YOU KNOW SKEPPYS USERNAME BAD  
HOWD YOU KNOW

big daddy:  
a. I know you guys  
b. Theres a thing called looking at group members

bbh simp:  
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

big daddy:  
Hi Skeppy!! :D

bbh simp:  
a  
hi bad  
oh  
war  
what  
bad im not fighting in a war  
i literaly just woke up

big daddy:  
Ant is coming too!!  
I think  
He was online earlier so probably

bbh simp:  
isnt ant with velvet

big daddy:  
Maybe??

swaggest mf:  
SGUT UP  
WE ARE FIGHTING NOW  
ATTACK

big daddy:  
ANTFROST ISN'T HERE QUACKITY WAIT FOR ANT

swaggest mf:  
we wait for no man.   
CHARGE

nihagoddess:  
Oh god  
i joined at the wrong time  
i am interrupting war

swaggest mf:  
OH  
OH I CHANGED MY MIND  
HELLO NIKI

honkers:  
NIKI NIHACHU HELLO

ranboozled:  
S H E HAS ARRIVED

jared, 19:  
I HEARD NIKI NIHACHU  
NIKI NIHACHU MY BELOVED  
HELLO NIKI  
HOW ARE YOU TODAY

anarchy pog:  
there was no fighting.   
im out  
oh btw hi niki i hope you're good. as for the rest of you. hi ig idk ur bearable sometimes

nihagoddess:  
aa  
so many messages  
hi guys!  
i'm good today wil, how are you :)

jared, 19:  
🥺🥺

nihagoddess:  
i  
😳👍

jared, 19:  
niki you are amazing

nihagoddess:  
WILBURRRR  
AAAA

jared, 19:  
ILY NIKI /P

swaggest mf:  
wilbur ungay arc????

ranboozled:  
ungay  
bye

swaggest mf:  
is that  
is that not a word

jared, 19:  
YOU TGINK UNGAY IS A WORD

nihagoddess:  
we can upgrade the title to wilbur str*ight arc

ranboozled:  
NIKI PRLASE

bbh simp:  
WHYD YOUBCENSOR IT LIKE A SLUR THIS IS SO FUCKIGNV FUNNY

big daddy:  
Wilbur opposite day?? /j

swaggest mf:  
hey bad  
why didnt you language skeppy  
why didn't you do it bad  
this is favoritism

big daddy:  
Skeppy is cool

anarchy pog:  
IMAGINE GETTING ROASTED BY THE ADULT WHO USES OWO UNIRONICALLY  
COULDNT BE MEEEEEE  
CRINGEEEEEEEE

ranboozled:  
IM GIING TO GET CHEST ISSUES  
I NEED TO CLIKC OFF THIS CHAT BUT I C A NT OH K6NGODJDSN

big man:  
HAHA  
BIG Q  
YOU JUST GOT OWNED BY BADBOYHALO  
THATS SO FUCKGIGN EMBARBASING

swaggest mf:  
SHTU UP  
SO IS YOUR SPELLING

hypixel sweat:  
can we go back to where we said wilbur ungay arc  
he has never acted Gay except for that egg thing idk  
doesnt he want to fuck the brown m&m

honkers:  
HE WBAT

tubbee:  
WIBLYR??? 

jared, 19:  
in my defence. 

swaggest mf:  
???   
GO ON???? 

jared, 19:  
in my defence  
shes hot

hypixel sweat:  
WILBUR OH NO

ranboozled:  
WILBUR  
GRASS

PLEASE   
TOUCH IT  
WILBUR PLWASE

anarchy pog:  
^ vouch  
ive never been more disappointed wilbur

speedrun:  
^

swaggest mf:  
^

pandas:  
^

honkers:  
^

nihagoddess:  
^

big man:  
^

tubbee:  
^

grog:  
^

jared, 19:  
even you niki  
i cant believe this  
im going to cry

pandas:  
why does that matter   
g e o r g e is awake  
and responded

grog:  
hi

speedrun:  
hi gogy wogy

grog:  
dream i will hit you

speedrun:  
u-uwu gogy-chan >~< *blushes*

grog:  
dream why

big man:  
Dream I am a minor

ranboozled has removed speedrun from the chat

grog:  
BYE  
WURHAJAHAHEHAHA

ranboozled:  
much better

pandas:  
HELEP  
YEBFSJRJSJ  
YESNIN MY ROOM  
HENWNSNTS TO TAKE MYNHPOEN  
TO ADDNBACK

ranboozled:  
OH  
I HAVE CAUSED WAR  
SAPNAP YOU'RE SUPERIOR LETS GOOOOO  
GO SAPNAP

grog:  
ill be honest   
hes probably losing

pandas has added Dream to the chat

Dream has changed their nickname to "speedrun"

ranboozled:  
awwwwwww  
damn

speedrun:  
ranboo.

ranboozled:  
mmmmmmmmmmm.   
yes

speedrun:  
why did you remove me?

ranboozled:  
damn is that a q on my keyboard???  
george have you got a q on your keyboard? 

grog:  
I DO!! ITS THE RAREST LETTER I CANT BELIEVE WE GOT IT!! 

ranboozled:  
I KNOW  
we were so lucky!!! 

speedrun:  
answer my qUESTION  
OR I WILL PUNT YOUR ASS INTO THE STRAYOSPHERE

ranboozled:  
no i dont think i will  
damn thats violent  
hmmm  
i'm taller than you yknow  
and i have 6 inch platforms  
i could probably stand on you

speedrun:  
ranboo oealse now is not the time for jokes

ranboozled:  
i am So funn e

speedrun:  
yes you are  
why did you remove me  
and i would also like an apology

ranboozled:  
ISNT IT OBVIOUS  
WHAT THEBFUCK WAS THAY

tubbee:  
OH GOD  
I STARTED LURKING AND  
YOU GOT RANBOO SWEARING  
NOW YOU KNOW YOU FUCKED UP

speedrun:  
OH MYJSJRSJSJS  
I WILL ACCEOT THAT AS AN APOLOGY

ranboozled:  
WAIT WAIT WAIT  
HOW DO YOU UNSEND MESSAGES  
THST WAS AN ACCIDENT  
NOOOOOO  
YOU SAW NOTHING

grog:  
thank you ranboo  
for being my noble knight  
as your reward  
i will post this to twitter

ranboozled:  
NO YOU WONT

grog:  
watch me

ranboozled:  
GORGE PLEASE  
I WILL FILE A LAWSUIT

grog:  
im jokign anyway

speedrun:  
g-gogy... *nuzzles* *blushes*

grog:  
dream when i meet you in person the first thing im going to do is kick you in the balls and punch you into a tree

pandas:  
that's  
specific

grog:  
it will hurt.

speedrun:  
wait feorge

ranboozled:  
THIS IS MY CUE TO LEAVE  
i also have a zoom class now lol  
break over

speedrun:  
OH  
YOURE IN SCHOOL  
SUCKS TO SUCK IDIOT  
LMAO  
L

ranboozled:  
i'm not the one calling george gogy-chan. who's the idiot now

swaggest mf:  
dream this kid is really pulling your ass  
step up your game

ranboozled:  
IM NOT EVEN TRYING  
ALL I DO IS PLAY BLOCK GAME AND LISTEN LEMON DEMON

swaggest mf:  
you REALLY gotta step up your game  
hes not even TRYING dream

anarchy pog:  
HES BECOMING THE MAIN CHARACTER  
HE'S BECOMING TOO POWERFUL

honkers:  
yeah dream  
hes literally too good  
you're probably jealous

big man:  
dream i have said this before but You suck so much

tubbee:  
ranboo teach me humour   
i want to roast dream too

big daddy:  
Okay that was kinda funny

jared, 19:  
ah yes i love waking up and watching a minor effortlessly roast a 21 year old chad that plays minecraft for a living

speedrun:  
YOU GUYS SUCJ  
SHUT UP  
I CAN ROAST HIM BACK  
IM JUST  
TIRED.  
OKAY  
WHEN I'M PROPERLY AWAKE  
ILL ROAST HIM  
OKAY?? 

honkers:  
you better

pandas:  
deal

tubbee:  
BoneZone in chat for ranboo beating his ass again

big man:  
Dream you suck so hard you'll lose again. Don't try

swaggest mf:  
dream learn some Skill from me.   
i am a master at the Craft

ranboozled:  
GUYBS???  
PLEASENSTOP MESSAGING  
MY PHONE KEEPS BUZZING AND IM IN CLASS  
EVERYONE IS STAIRNG AT ME

hypixel sweat:  
^^  
WAS ABIUT TO SAY THE SAME

jared, 19:  
turn it on silent mode

hypixel sweat:  
OH I FOROGT ABOUT THAT

ranboozled:  
IT IS  
AND ITS  
ITS GOING THRIUGH????   
i am going to throw my phone

big man:  
hey ranboob  
im going to Embarass you  
a  
b  
c  
d  
e  
f  
g  
h  
i  
j  
k  
l

ranboozled:  
TOMYM  
PELASE  
STOP

big man:  
no i dont think i will  
m  
n  
o  
p  
q  
r

ranboozled:  
I WILL CRY

big man:  
s  
t  
u  
v  
w  
x  
y  
z

ranboozled:  
WE ARE WRITING ESSAYS  
PLEASE HAVE MERCY  
oh  
oh god  
is it over

big man:  
ranboob do you know how to count

ranboozled:  
OH JEEZ  
UH  
YES  
YES  
COUNTING MHM THATS ME  
NUMBER BRRR YES

big man:  
tubbo  
tubbo  
tubbo  
tubbo  
@/tubbee

tubbee:  
AAAAAA  
i am eating a hot pocket right now

big man:  
that is So cool for you Tubbo  
but Tubbo  
do you know how to count

tubbee:  
i  
i can count enough yes

big man:  
i think we should teach ranboo how to count suuuper high

ranboozled:  
OH MY GUDMFDKSKAKEKF  
NO  
PLEASE

tubbee:  
hmmmmmm

ranboozled:  
TUBBO PLEASE DO NOT  
I AM WIRITNG AN ESSAYBRIGHT NOW

tubbee:  
oh an essay?

ranboozled:  
Y E S  
AND EVERYONE INCLUDING MY TEACHER IS STARING AT ME  
BECAUSE MY PHONE IS BUZZING

tubbee:  
OH  
in that case  
tommy off we go  
10 each!!  
1  
2  
3  
4  
5  
6

ranboozled:  
STOOOOOOOOOOOP  
I WILL CRY

tubbee:  
7  
8  
9  
10

big man:  
11  
12  
13  
14

ranboozled has left the chat

big man:  
15  
oh wow  
rude  
we were teaching him

tubbee:  
can you believe this  
im adding him back

tubbee has added Ranboo to the chat

tubbee has changed Ranboo's nickname to ranboozled

tubbee:  
im sorry ranboo  
we will stop

ranboozled:  
GUYS  
I GOT KICKED FROM THE MEETING  
AND WAS TOLD TO DO IT OFF THE CALL BECAUSE I WAS DISTRACTING PEOPLE  
OH MY GOD  
GUYS

big man:  
L  
they're weak

tubbee:  
I MEAN  
ITS OKAY RIGHY??  
ARE YOU IN TRUBLE??? 

ranboozled:  
HSDHDJD DONT WORRY IM NOT IN TROUBLE  
it was just annoying and distracting everyone so she made me leave  
idk why i couldn't just mute but here we are  
it should be fine if i do it and email it to the teacher lol  
I CANT BELIEVE YOU GUYS ACTUALLY SPAMMED MY HPONE

swaggest mf:  
guys i forgot numbers for a second and after tubbo said 5 he said 6 and i got confused because i thought green came after 5 but then i remembered green is a letter and not a number and 6 comes after 5

ranboozled:  
im sorry  
green is a ✨what✨

swaggest mf:  
letter?  
WIABT  
WIST NO  
ITS A COLOR  
I am going to play Taylor Swift songs in despair 🖕🖕

ranboozled:  
I AM GOING TO WRITE MY ESSAY  
WHICH I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED FROM DOING

big man:  
Just dont read the chat

ranboozled:  
THATS HARD WHEN YOU'RE GETTING 6 MESSAGES PER SECOND??????

big man:  
just do it then idk

tubbee:  
WELL ILL LEAVE YOU BE NOW  
im gonna finish editing the last bit of my video  
i'll send it to you guys later if you want to give feedback?

ranboozled:  
sure!!

big man:  
okay Tubbo Underscore

tubbee:  
thank you twitch.tv/ranboolive and twitch.tv/tommyinnit  
i am leaving now  
farewell

ranboozled:  
farewell tubbo underscore   
also  
tommy pls don't spam me  
i genuinely need to write this essay lol  
if i dont i will probably Fail™

big man:  
yeah dont worry i'm done now lol  
sorry for getting you kicked out your lesson  
good luck on the essay big guy. I am physically going to PogChamp for you

ranboozled:  
thank you, also DONT WORRY ITS FINE its less stressful doing it out the call  
good luck on  
whatever you're gonna do now

big man:  
i'll probably go grind for some netherite on the smp  
armour yknow  
but i'll be out your hair now  
goodbye ranboob

ranboozled:  
he can't keep doing this  
bye tomathy

__________________________________________________  
Sex Havers + Sapnap  
__________________________________________________

g

reen dumbass:  
KARL PELEASE

vegan teacher's number 1:  
KARL

chair faller:  
IM SORRY  
BUT SERIOUSLY

sexy beanie man:  
KARL YOU CANT JUST  
SAY THAT

chair faller:  
SAYS WHO

green dumbass:  
SAYS ME?????   
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK MY CHARACTER HAS NO DICK  
I HAVW THE LARGEST DICK EVER

chair faller:  
I BEG TO DIFFER  
ALEX QUACKITY EXISTS  
PLUS YOUR CHARACTER IS JUST??? A SMILE WITH A GREEN SCREEN. WHERE IS ITS LEGS. WHERE IS ITS DICK. IT IS JUST A SMILE  
but yes alex quackity big dick energy. so much big dick energy

idk hes just here:  
not even me?  
damn :'(  
first alex and now you karl

chair faller:  
dont tell alex i said this  
but *whispers* yours is even bigger

idk hes just here:  
😳😳omg😳😳

sexy beanie man:  
KARL  
I HEARD YOU  
I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING

chair faller:  
ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

sexy beanie man:  
I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT!!  
IM LEAVING AND IM TAKING THE FROG!!!! 

chair faller:  
NO  
NOT HENRY  
PLEASE

sexy beanie man:  
IM TAKING HENRY!!!

idk hes just here:  
karl we can buy another henry okay   
:((

chair faller:  
NO  
THIS IS HENRY  
I NEED THE OG HENRY

sexy beanie man:  
GOODBYE FOREVER KARL!!  
*slams door*

vegan teacher's number 1:  
what will happen between these three next? will karl solve his issues with alex, or will he stay with nick? find out next time on americas worst relationships

green dumbass:  
OH MYNHOD  
PELASE

sexy beanie man:  
ESISHAHAHAHAHASHAHAH

idk hes just here:  
GEKRGE

chair faller:  
I SPAT OUT MYNWATER  
ANDVIT BARELY MISSED MY COMOUTER

vegan teacher's number 1:  
this is why im british  
and not american  
you guys suck 🙄🖕

sexy beanie man:  
yeah well  
we have taco bell  
and wendys

vegan teacher's number 1:  
oh shit u right  
im moving to america right now  
boarding the plane

green dumbass:  
isnt there a travel ban LMAO

vegan teacher's number 1:  
yes  
i can dream if i want to  
okay  
yes

chair faller:  
what if we just drag you over here  
like  
get you loads of tests  
and then  
you can like  
stay here

vegan teacher's number 1:  
its still illegal though  
i think  
idk  
news boring

sexy beanie man:  
OH WE ARE DOING IT  
ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES POG  
LETS GO BOYS

vegan teacher's number 1:  
HAHDHSAH WELL  
hold on  
guys  
you actually went offline  
you aren't actually doing it right  
right?  
uh  
sapnap?  
karl?  
quackity?  
dream?  
you better not be actually doing it oh my god

green dumbass:  
dont worry we're not doing it we thought it would be funny to scare you

vegan teacher's number 1:  
you guys suck so hard


	3. whos ip did you track this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sweden doesn't exist. neither does their sanity.
> 
> ranboo gets his essay feedback
> 
> tubbo tracks ips again

ranboozled:  
hear me out. hot dogs are called hot dogs for a reason. there's the bun. and the dog. the dog is hot. now, we may be referring to temperature, and you may say that it is definitely temperature, however you have been fooled. this is exactly what the government wants. for the dog is actually hot in a sexy way. and the bun is the bed. you can lie in the bed with the dog and get it on and have gross children. because the bed is a bun. and you do stuff in the bed. you see? its all part of the government's plan. what else could they be hiding from us

anarchy pog:  
ranboo  
i used to think you were bearable  
but what the fuck is that

honkers:  
RANBOO??? YOU ALRIGHT???

ranboozled:  
WAIT  
WAIT  
MAY I SPECIFY  
THAT THIS WAS COPY PASTED FROM QUACKITYS DM TO ME

swaggest mf:  
AND ID SAY IT AGAIN BITCH

honkers:  
oh thank god  
thought i had to be worried for a second  
its just alex

swaggest mf:  
wym just alex  
i am alex  
THE alex  
not just any alex  
i am THE alex  
okay

anarchy pog:  
rrright ill interrupt you there to say thank god you are not corrupted ranboo i got so worried  
you are the only Bearable child here

hypixel sweat:  
damn join the chat for 1 second and already got slander  
wait  
im not that bad am i???

anarchy pog:  
YOU'RE A CHILD?

hypixel sweat:  
YES??????  
HOW OLD DID YOU THINK I WAS???

anarchy pog:  
IDK LIKE 19 OR 20????????

hypixel sweat:  
W H A T T H E F U C K  
TECHNO  
I LOOK MORE LIKE IM 12 THAN 19  
WHAT THE FUCK

ranboozled:  
to be fair  
you do look older to me  
but i knew your age so its fine

big man:  
you Woke Me Up  
oh  
quackity. amen to that my friend  
purpled. you look like you are 2 years old

hypixel sweat:  
any askers

swaggest mf:  
any askers  
OH  
WE SAID IT AT THE SAME TIME LETS GOOOOOO  
you're my Favourite now  
sorry karl sorry sapnap 

honkers:  
GASP   
alex...   
how could you.... *sniffles*  
you're out the gang.... 

swaggest mf:  
NO...  
PLEASE...  
ANYTHING BUT THE GANG....   
I CAN MAKE IT UP TO YOU...   
KARL PLEASE HAVE MERCY..... 

anarchy pog:  
ill be honest i miss when they were making out in their private dms

grind never stops:  
Not exactly what I expected to see when I first opened the chat in the morning but like what you like I guess

anarchy pog:  
STOP  
I AMCNOT  
OH MY GOD

hypixel sweat:  
technoblade spelling error?? 😧  
TECHNOBLADE FLOP ERA???? 

anarchy pog:  
I will punt you  
@/jared, 19  
you're writing the smp plot  
please write in me taking a canon life from this Child  
or maybe more

jared, 19:  
say no more

ranboozled:  
it's okay purpled. i almost lost one to a llama called clarencio. and it wasnt even on script

hypixel sweat:  
i should log on to the server more because what ghe fuck

big man:  
can confirm  
the llama was mine  
i stole it from a trader  
and it spat on me  
so i made it spit on ranboo

jared, 19:  
just read up  
quackity  
i know something else the government is hiding from us.

ranboozled:  
oh god

jared, 19:  
alexis quackity.  
do you know any swedish people?

swaggest mf:  
yes  
jacksepticeye  
wait worng one  
pewdiepie

jared, 19:  
no.  
he isn't swedish.

swaggest mf:  
yes he is???  
why wouldn't he be???

ranboozled:  
quackity no run while you can

jared, 19:  
sweden isn't real, asshat.  
it's a scam created by the government to make people want to become better.  
we are stronger  
we will not give in.

dadza:  
back to bed grandpa

jared, 19:  
philza minecraft i love you but you're older than me. you're grandpa squared

dadza:  
no  
just you  
back to bed grandpa

swaggest mf:  
wilbur if it makes you feel better i am Not a grandpa

jared, 19:  
thanks big q. needed that one

swaggest mf:  
anytime wimbler snoop  
i am always here to remind you of your Age if you need me to 👍

lgbtq ICON:  
oh god i missed a lot why are we cancelling sweden  
who made my name thats so Poggers of you

speedrun:  
SOMEONE APPRECIATES MY NICKNAMES  
SUCK MY DICK TECHNO

anarchy pog:  
thats for george

big man:  
imagine getting dragged by Technoblade when you have 17 million subscribers

anarchy pog:  
i regret saying that  
anyway you made half of the nicknames so fucking bad why did you expect everyone to say something like "omg dream you're so cool thank you for my amazing nickname i love you teehee" you got some sort of god complex??? 

lgbtq ICON:  
jesus fucking christ  
GO TECHNOBLADE

ranboozled:  
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
TECHNOBLADE GET HIM

tubbee:  
TECHNOBLADE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS

anarchy pog:  
im just speaking for all of us dont mind me

speedrun:  
Technoblade  
you have a god complex  
dont talk that way

anarchy pog:  
ok

speedrun:  
dont ok me  
answer

anarchy pog:  
ok

big man:  
technoblvad i have gained respect for you. Be proud

anarchy pog:  
ill consider it

ranboozled:  
GUYS  
GUYS  
GUYS  
HELP  
YOU REMEMBER THAT  
THAT ESSAY  
FROM YESYRRDSY  
THAY I HAD TO WRITE

tubbee:  
oh god his spelling is going bad

swaggest mf:  
lol tommy really said no ranboo rights

big man:  
I APOLOGIASED

ranboozled:  
WELL MY TEACHER TEAD IT  
AND GUESS WHAT YKU MADE ME DO

big man:  
oh No

ranboozled:  
I FUCKIGN WROTE TOMMY  
INSTEAD OF SI MSNY WORDS  
BECAUSE YOU DISTRACTED ME

big man:  
WAITJABDAB  
IM SORYRY RNAMBOO  
ISCIT OKAY THOUHG  
LIKE  
ARE U IN TROUBLR  
OARJSJGJS

ranboozled:  
ITS FINE  
MY TEACHER WAS JUST CONFUSED  
ITS FUNNY OLEAJFNAN  
BUT WHYYYYYYYY  
WHY OUT OF ANYTHING  
T O M M Y  
you are the bane of my existence /j

big man:  
well  
you're the demon i see in my sleep paralysis

ranboozled:  
yOU GET SLEEP PARALYSIS??? 

big man:  
no  
but if i did

ranboozled:  
?????? 

big man:  
okay okay  
you're like  
yknow when its dark and you see things in your room as something else  
yeah

ranboozled:  
tommy you're making even less sense than before and i will cry

anarchy pog:  
what have i just witnessed

tubbee:  
TOMMY  
APOLOGISE TO MY BELOVED   
OR I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR FUCKING HOUSE  
/j 💖

big man:  
no apology. you used /j

tubbee:  
/srs 😁

big man:  
im sorry ranboo for being mean and saying that you are a sleep paralysis demon  
now tubbo  
dont break into my house again  
motherinnit will not be Proud

hypixel sweat:  
im  
im lurking  
and im sorry but  
A G A I N?

tubbee:   
do not question me, Purpled Bedwars.

hypixel sweat:  
luckily i am american and you do not know my address

tubbee:  
you are misjudging my power

big man:  
dont try him  
he tracked tapl's ip address once and sent it to me. then used it to find his address

hypixel sweat:   
oh i forgot that happened  
oh god  
tubbo wait i wont question you again

tubbee:  
free.   
for now. 

fox go brr:  
okay i just got here  
gimme a sec gonna read chat

ranboozled:  
not recommended, fundy

hypixel sweat:  
VOUCH???

fox go brr:  
tubbo.  
tubbo whos ip did you track this time

tubbee:  
whos to say i actually did it

fox go brr:  
tubbo.  
i know you.

tubbee:  
quackity

swaggest mf:  
WAIT  
WAHT  
HOW  
WHY  
WHAT

tubbee:  
lots of questions. so little time.

swaggest mf:  
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA TRACK PURPLED????

tubbee:  
nahhh  
purpled is chill

hypixel sweat:  
aw  
thanks tubbo underscore

tubbee:  
no problem purpled bedwars 

swaggest mf:  
DUDE I  
HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IT  
AND AM I NOT CHILL

tubbee:  
you can track ips through players joining realms yknow 

pandas:  
vouch   
i tracked dream

fox go brr:  
i tracked wilburs  
so he didnt have to give me his address

speedrun:  
my name was mentioned   
WHAT  
YOU TRACKED MY IP  
SAPNAP  
well i tracked yours so its fine

pandas:  
I  
hey alex do you wanna track our ips so we can meet up and give u a big kiss xxxxxxxx

swaggest mf:  
dude...   
theres children here....   
wait until they've gone to bed 🙄

tubbee:   
IM LITERALLY 17??

big man:  
^^

ranboozled:  
^^

hypixel sweat:  
^^

swaggest mf:  
not 18 tho  
children

big man:  
tubbo  
dm me the ip address

swaggest mf:  
wait

tubbee:  
on it

swaggest mf:  
WAIT NO  
I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE 

ranboozled:  
i sincerely apologise for this Alex Quackity  
however my brain is currently not working because that was a lot to take in so. its lemon demon time

swaggest mf:  
do you think i should cover cabinet man unironically 

ranboozled:  
PLEASE  
PLEASE DO???? 

swaggest mf:  
pick up my call rn no balls

ranboozled:  
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

dadza:  
oh God  
you got the kids all "Riled Up" as they say back in the day

big man:  
Philza you are old. but in a good way

dadza:  
????   
Thanks???????? 

big man:  
no problem old guy

tubbee:  
can i just say the conversations this morning have been so all over the place. like it went from quackitys message to sweden not being real to us minors being hated upon

big man:  
thats  
thats true

tubbee:  
okay  
im leaving now  
im gonna record for the lets play channel

big man:  
Pog  
im gonna  
Uhhhhh  
OH SHIT I HAVE A COLLEGE ASSIGNMENT DUE  
UHHHHHHHHHHHH

tubbee:  
okay big man  
good luck with the assignment LOL  
i dropped out 😁😁😁

big man:  
i know you did  
Asshole

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA
> 
> i have no clue what to write

**Author's Note:**

> YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
> 
> please leave comments on how i can improve my work, this is my first fanfic so i have no clue what is going on HAHAHAH
> 
> also on wattpad! my username is ranbooslastbraincell :] i usually update there first!


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